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9 Weeks August 02, 2004

Where to begin...? Well, I guess I should note that this all started the day (night actually) after I was prescribed birth-control pills by my doctor. How ironic, I know, but the good thing is, the birth-control was not prescribed to keep me from getting pregnant. My doctor simply thought that the severe moodswings I was experiencing might be due to hormone fluctuations caused by the miscarriage I'd had in April and birth-control pills might help even things out. The plan was, I'd be on the pill for three months, long enough to help my moodswings. Then after the three months, Jason and I could start trying to concieve again.

Now, the whole reason I'm writing here is because the Lord obviously had a different plan. I never took the birth-control pills and Jason and I found out about a month later that we are going to be parents.

I took the pregnancy test at my mother-in-laws house on July 10th while Jason (my husband), Sherry (my mother-in-law), Kelly (sister-in-law), and Carter (brother-in-law) all waited anxiously to hear the result. This test, unlike the two I'd taken in April before finding out I was having a miscarriage, showed to very dark pink lines. So we all went out to celebrate at the very same restaurant where Jason and I had our wedding rehersal dinner.

Even though having the miscarriage had revealed to Jason and me just how much we wanted to be parents sooner rather than later, I still had some apprehensions about parenthood. I remember turning to Jason one morning and asking, "Lovey, am I crazy to think I can handle being a mom when I'm only 20-years-old?" His reply couldn't have been more reassuring. He said, "Ashy, we're gonna change a lot of diapers and dry a lot of tears and there are going to be a lot of things that will challenge us, but I know that when you look at our baby and you see my smile, you wont have any regrets." I think what he said really gave me a glimpse into what unconditional love is.

Recently, I told Jason, "I'm not sure there are a lot of women out there who can say, 'I feel so much less moody now that I'm pregnant,'" but that is most definitely the case with me. Before I was pregnant, I used to cry daily for absolutely no reason, now I only cry when I learn neat little new things about our baby. Like that at eight weeks he was probably the size of a gummy bear. Awww.

Morning sickness didn't really kick in until around six weeks, but I discovered shortly thereafter that a little vitamin B6 goes a long way toward helping alleviate the nausea. I still feel pretty sick every now and then, but so far it's been relatively managable. I just get lots of extra sleep, sometimes as much as 15-16 hours when my work schedule permits me that luxury, and I carry a bucket around with me whenever I'm not sure if I can keep my food down. Jason had been ultra helpful lately. He hasn't been letting the dishes pile up and yesterday he even helped do laundry. He's also been preparing dinner for himself which is a huge relief to me because I can't seem to stand cooking lately.

Food has lost it's appeal for me lately. Can you believe I haven't touched anything chocolate in over two months?! I don't care much for the sugary foods I used to be addicted to anymore. Instead, I enjoy high carb foods like mashed potatoes and cream of wheat hot cereal. I don't get much protein except from the occasional protein bar or the small amounts that I acquire from the "meat wrapped in bread" that I crave. Corn-dogs, Hot Pockets, and chicken Nuggets have become my new friends.

Jason and I got to hear our babies heartbeat last week. It was great! Jason even had to lay down on the floor in the doctors office because he looked like he was going to pass out. The baby's heartrate was 170 beats per minute which indicates we're likely to have a girl according to some Old Wive's tale. Our gut feeling is still that it's a boy though. Either way, we're very happy.

We decided to schedule three prenatal appointments with the doctor and the rest we are going to go with a midwife. If it turns out that the doctor can help me get rid of the infection that caused me to miscarry before, we'll have the baby at home. Well, at our new home, that is...

We put in an offer on a house last week. It's three blocks from Jason's workplace, has four bedrooms, 2 and a half baths, 2 garages, 2400 square feet, and an apartment rental in the basement. Here are some pictures: The front of the house...and...The back of the house. Lord willing, we'll be able to move in by the end of August.

I met, Becky Rosburg, the midwife that we are going to have, in 2001 when I was hoping to become a midwife after graduating highschool. I actually had the privilege of attending a birth with her at that time and was highly impressed with the simplicity of natural childbirth. I went through a particularly rough spiritual struggle shortly thereafter, however, and lost sight of my aspiritions into midwifery. But I didn't lose sight of my hopes to someday give birth in the comfort of my own home with someone who could represent the spiritual aspects of childbirth as well as the emotional and physical. So when I found out I was pregnant I immediately contacted Becky who congratulated me on having gotten married since we last met and also on expecting. She scheduled our first prenatal appointment for August 16th and I have to admit, I'm very excited for that day to come.

We've been having some trouble choosing a girl's name that we like. We even spent the entire 45 minute drive into Fargo trying unsuccessfully to come up with a name we both like--Once we arrived in Fargo and realised we'd gotten nowhere, Jason proclaimed that he'd thought of the perfect name, "Fish stick". For some reason, that got us both laughing so hard we nearly cried. Then last weekend when we asked my four-year-old cousin, Christian, what he thought we should name the baby he said, "Princess!" so we asked, "what if it's a boy?" and he said, "Princess". Needless to say, if you have any suggestions, we could desperately use them. Just drop them into the guestbook to your left.

Links
15 wk Ultrasound
23 wk Ultrasound
Nursery Pic
Dad's Baby Pic

Baby Names We're Currently Considering
Isaac, Isaiah, Elijah, Owen, Caleb, Joshua and Fish Stick (if it's a girl).